Shut out

Oh dear Lord. Here we go again.

I love my extended family. If my brothers or sister needed anything and I could help, I'd drop whatever I was doing and do what I could. I loved my Dad despite his alcoholism and verbal abuse (at times). Here's where it gets tricky. I honestly do not know what I feel for my Mom. I mean, I took care of her last winter along with my brother. I wasn't abusive and I really did care how she felt, what she ate...really, she was like having another child. Fast forward one year and I am really just ambivalent towards her. I don't want anything bad to happen to her (obviously), but I don't have any real feelings that make me want to call her or visit her. I took dinner over on Thanksgiving and saw her on Christmas Eve, but that's about it.

So she has been removed from her home again. Placed in the same hospital she was evaluated in before. I haven't gone to visit. I haven't even thought about it really. I've asked my brother (who has POA and Conservatorship) for updates (and gotten them when asked). Now it seems that she is being moved somewhere permanent and I found out about it on Facebook from a status my sister posted.

Here's where the "Shut Out" part comes in. I have obviously been some sort of heinous bitch of a daughter because my sister is not speaking to me. Oh wait, she will send one or two word texts if I send her one first. She also responded glibly to an email that I sent all three of my siblings, but I know there is a storm brewing underneath all of that which I've decided to ignore because I don't need the drama in my life. If she wants to spill it, she will. I'm not going to beg for a "beating". Did I mention that she is talking all about her trip to CT in March with my niece & her babies, but has yet to even mention it to me?! You know what's funny? She sends my kids crap for every holiday thinking that this is how she will be a part of their life, but when push comes to shove, my kids see her for how she behaves to me. Not much respect there, I'm afraid.

My brother, on the other hand, has yet to respond to my text of yesterday which asked him what was going on because of what my sister posted on Facebook. I texted him at 2:39pm and he most def. received the message. I know he is busy with work and his life (gasp, we all have one). I've checked my email about 3 dozen times to make sure that I am not missing an update. As of 9am this morning, NOTHING. NADA.

I do not claim to be the perfect daughter or even a good one, but I think I deserve to know what is going on. Apparently my punishment for not being able to help my mother before our NYC competition is being shut out. Here's a shout out to dysfunctional and passive aggressive families. Let's never clear the air...instead, let's ignore the person we're angry at. Yeah, that's a great plan.......