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So let's see....I guess I'll just write about life. Not terribly exciting, I'm afraid, but all I've got.

Jeremy, our eldest, is scheduled to see the pediatrician on Wednesday. I'm a bit worried. First off, he actually asked to see the doctor. That throws alarm bells up in itself, but after speaking with the doctor yesterday, I'm really concerned. Seems as though Jeremy cannot tolerate strenuous exercise. My most athletic, sports loving child gets dizzy and almost passes out if he does any type of aerobic exercise for any length of time. I took him to the gym with me the other day and he rode a stationary bike for about 20-25 minutes and then had to go to the men's locker room where he laid down in a private changing stall because he felt like getting sick & passing out. When I mentioned this to his pedi yesterday at Em's 2yo visit, the doctor immediately told me that Jeremy is not allowed to play any sports of any kind until we get to the bottom of this. Furthermore, he will be seeing a cardiologist. Then the doctor showed me a checklist of things that could indicate a heart issue. That, my friends, was very scary since I could have checked more than one thing off in regard to Jeremy.

Now my favorite kids' doctor would never try to scare me on purpose. We've had this pedi for over 16 years and there is a relationship of mutual trust between us which is key. The doctor is most concerned that my beautiful, almost adult son should not drop dead at 20yo from some undetected heart defect and I can totally appreciate that. In fact, I can't express how much I appreciate that.

While this particular 16yo can be SUCH a BUTTHEAD and drive me literally insane sometimes, he is most like me. He is introverted, but smart, witty, fun - you just need to get past his shy exterior (and trust me when I say, it isn't easy). He is going through that period of time where you start to try and find out who you really are. What means the most to you. It's like watching a butterfly leave the crysallis really. While I would love to take credit for who this boy is, my firm belief is that he is responsible for that. God sent him to me to raise and while I haven't always done a good job at it (in fact, I've sucked SO many times), I have always loved him. Always. And I am extremely proud of him. Extremely. Even when his report card showed he passed Geometry & Biology with D+'s this year, I was still proud. I know his soul...I know who he is. That is the part that makes me proudest because I'd like to believe our love for him has made him empathetic, caring....(Did I mention that this is the boy who makes his Mom breakfast in bed EVERY mother's day? And I mean a FULL breakfast - eggs, toast, fruit, juice, coffee - since he was about 8 or 9...) I know he loves me - even when he is full of teen attitude, spit and vinegar.

So yeah...next week can't come soon enough. I hate the not knowing more than anything else.