Why? - Every parent's nightmare. Or at least one of them.

Found out yesterday that a 15yo boy in Jerm's grade died of a drug overdose. He wasn't a friend of Jerm's really, but this is a small town and everyone knows everyone else. Jerm received texts, online messages and saw status updates on FB regarding this boy. From what Jerm has gathered, he and another boy from town both OD'd on amphetamines. B. died and C. apparently lived (as of this writing, I only know what Jerm's friends have shared regarding C. - B.'s obit was in the paper this morning).

My mind is a tempest over this and it has affected the hubby too. As a parent to more than one teenager, this stuff is REAL. Real & scary. I know that B's life was tough and he wasn't always the most likable kid. Jerm said that he could be a real jerk sometimes, but to know that he's gone? That is just unimaginable. I cannot for the life of me grasp what his parents must be going through. I try my hardest to put myself in those shoes and the amount of grief from just imagining it is overpowering and debilitating.

I had a chance to talk to Jerm about it alone yesterday in the truck. After he asked what would cause someone to die from an amphetamine OD, he said he thought B. & C. were so stupid and why would they do that? I tried to explain that most teenagers and young adults do not have a clear concept of their own mortality. I explained that teenagers tend to make impulsive choices. He bristled a bit at my stereotyping, but I explained that I wasn't trying to put a "bad" label on teenagers...just one that seemed to fit most. I told him that living life and growing older gives you a new perspective on things - teaches you about mortality - tends to make you more cautious. I also mentioned to him that one summer - I think it was between my Freshman & Sophomore years - a rash of teenagers died in my small town. They all had been drinking/doing drugs & driving. I had an older, out of high school friend who also happened to be a volunteer firefighter who had described to me in detail at least two of the accident scenes. Needless to say, I didn't ever drive after partying. It had hit close to home for me like I think this news of B. & C. has hit close to home for Jerm.

I don't think Jerm does drugs and I don't think he drinks on a regular basis. He doesn't really go anywhere and pretty much hangs out with his XBox 360. For all intents and purposes, the most trouble I have ever had with this eldest child of mine has been his mouthiness. He still likes to play basketball over at the church, plays school baseball and loves to throw a football around or get his friends together for a pick up football game in the snow, but I don't think he is into partying. I know for a fact that Jerm has tried marijuana (with his cousin) and he said he didn't think it was all that cool. He also got himself shitfaced drunk at home last New Year's eve while we were at a party up the street. He actually texted me to tell me at 2am. Needless to say, he hasn't over imbibed since praying to the porcelain goddess a few hours later that morning.

Honestly, by the time I was Jerm's age, I had already done all my partying as a teenager. I had already met DH and was settling down. My idea of a good time was Monopoly at my Dad's house with the hubby, my cousin & my best friend and a couple sixes of Michelob beer. Sometimes I worry Jerm's lack of partying now will resurface during college and that scares the living shit out of me. I can only hope and pray to my Heavenly Father that He keeps Jerm safe and that Jerm keeps his levelheadedness.

At some point, you realize that most of the teaching you do for your child is done in the early years and once they hit the tumultuous teen years, it is more about them finding their own footing in life and learning how to be their own adult person. That is not to say that there aren't teaching moments, but they aren't as plentiful as they were back when they were little children. Teenagers just aren't as "moldable" as little people are.

So if you pray, I ask that you pray for B.'s family and if you don't pray, please send some good thoughts/energy their way. I cannot even imagine how life goes on after something like this....