19 or 22 years

Today is my 19th wedding anniversary, however, it is also marks the 22nd year I've been with my hubby. 22 years is far more than 1/2 my life and by the time I was Jerm's age, I was with Chris. I can say with total honesty that I knew Chris was my soul mate by the time we were together for 4 months or so. It just felt right and we both felt it & talked about it frequently.

Things haven't always been easy or fun or wildly romantic. In fact, there are times that the only thing that has kept me here is the fact that I said a vow which I take very seriously and the fact that we have 6 kids. Of course, there is also the fact that while things aren't perfect, my hubby is comfortable. He knows me and I know him. I cannot for the life of me imagine being with any one else. I don't think I could open myself up to someone else in the way I have opened myself up to Chris in the last 22 years.

I think part of this comes from the fact that I was 16 year old when we first started dating. I was definitely more optimistic and starry eyed when it came to what life was going to hold for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what it would really be like. And I don't mean it has been all bad. Many, many parts are even better than what I imagined. I just think that there is an innocence in being 16. You share more - you hold less back - your little girl dreams of marriage are still very much intact.

In all reality, Chris and I have grown up together. He knows me better than anyone else. I think this is the way it is supposed to be, but not having any good source to look to for marriage, I'm just guessing. You see, my parents were divorced by their 26th year of marriage. My siblings all have been divorced numerous times (in fact, my sister looks to be on her way to her 2nd divorce as I type). My mother's parents were divorced and although my father's parents were still together, we weren't close to them and there was plenty of dysfunction present there as well.

Chris' parents are still together - in fact, they will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in just 2 short years. While I think that is the coolest thing ever, I still don't look at their relationship as something I want to emulate. They are different from us and Chris and I are far more affectionate towards each other. It is almost as if they are married because that is what you do although I know they love each other...not sure if that makes sense or not. I guess I want more than what it looks like they have.

I'm proud to be married for 19 years. I think it's a pretty neat accomplishment and I hope that it sets a good example for my kiddos. They see that it isn't always easy, - they have friends whose parents are divorced or divorcing - but they see us hanging in there despite all the ups & downs. We might not have all the things other people have and we might not be able to take cool trips here and there, but we love each other and are committed to each other. I think that speaks volumes above anything else - at least I hope it does.

So happy anniversary to hubby and me...19 years ago today I was at my sister's house in Ellington having my pictures taken in my beautiful white gown and simple veil getting ready to say "I do." to the guy who was meant for me.

ETA - For those of you who are interested...19th wedding anniversaries gifts are supposed to be gifts of bronze (well, according the the "modern" train of thought). Me...I bought hubby a box of SHAMWOW at CVS. You know you're jealous.... ;)