Old friends

I found an old friend yesterday on FB. He was my Spanish partner and I once went out on a date with him. I loved him in a best friend kind of way. We called each other Chiste or Chistoso. Joke or Joker. I've missed him and thought about him a lot over the last 20 years. He graduated in the class above me although he did come to my graduation. I remember he was drunk and I was angry with him. I think that is the very last time I talked to him face to face.

So I sent a friend request last night. I added the "personal message" of "CHISTE! OMG...I've missed you. Remember all the fun in Mrs. Newman's Spanish class?!" Today when I woke up I had a message in my inbox (along with a friend acceptance in my notifications). I wrote back to him asking him what's he's been doing all these years and where he's living...you know, the norm and explained about where I've been/what I've been doing. I then took a look at his page and realized his wife died of Lupus a short time ago. I knew he had a serious girlfriend from his sister, but I didn't know much else as it had been years since I had heard anything about him. I was just heartbroken for him. :(

So tonight I got a response to my message. He told me how he had met his wife in '91, got engaged in '92 and got married in 2000. He has two grown stepchildren. He's been through a lot in the last couple of years, but hearing from old friends like me makes him smile and he's not done too much of that lately. I feel awful. I just want to find him and hug him. It actually physically makes me sick that I know he's having such a hard time and misses his wife so much. It makes me sad that I lost touch with him because he is an awesome person. Soft spoken. Gentle. Funny. Kind. The kind of person you want to keep as a close friend.

I asked him if he wanted me to keep him in the loop of the high school get togethers. He lives about 40 minutes from the town we grew up in. He said he might want to come and to keep him in the loop. I hope I can get to see him soon. Just to give him a hug and remind him how special he is to me. I also want to tell him how blessed I feel that he still thinks of me as a friend.

Part of me worries that Chris will not like this at all and I hope I can make him understand that there isn't anything that I would do to jeopardize my marriage. That I love him, but I also have the capacity to love others in different ways. He knows that I sent a message/friend request and he knows that John accepted it last night. I never keep anything from him so I don't understand the worry/jealousy stuff. In fact, I would love it for Chris and John to be friends. To really get to know each other because I think they have a ton in common. Keeping my fingers crossed that this indeed will happen...I cannot believe I would get led back to such a special person just to lose touch again. Right?!