Waxing philopsophical (some major religious themes too)

My beautiful eldest daughter turned 14 yesterday. 14! Joy & bittersweet all at once. We wished her a happy birthday at 12:01am as we had friends over for dinner & drinks. We were still sitting around the dining room table when she had returned home from babysitting and there we sat when the clocks chimed the start of a new day. She truly is a beautiful soul although she is a bit air headed at times. Her best personality trait is the fact that she can't stay angry. It is easy to get her to laugh. She's like her Daddy.

It was hard getting up for church since I had stayed up long after the clock struck 1am. I was, in fact, a bit late getting over there as I had to make sure Becca's angel food cake was baked. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be running late. We started church and everything was normal except for the fact that our minister wasn't present (he's been there the last couple of weeks sitting in a front pew next to the handicap entrance). I figured it probably wasn't a good sign. Sure enough during prayer requests, D. said that she had spoken to C. that morning. C. basically has stopped working as P. is in his last days. The last week has brought what C. calls a "death watch" and C. hasn't been sleeping really. I couldn't control the tears. And it wasn't just about P. It seems there were SO many prayer requests...so many bad things happening to good people. And then I question and wonder if I am the only believer who questions "Why?". I hold on to something my friend Don told me once. God is big enough for questions. I sure hope he is right because, man, I sure have a lot of questions.

Oddly enough, the substitute minister (who was voted in as a temp after church yesterday) is named P. too & is a friend of our P. He is S. African (great accent) and is actually involved in a prison ministry. He also stutters which blows my mind every time I hear him preach because I think, "Wow. God's calling must've been huge for him to preach even with that type of speech impediment." While you notice he stutters, it isn't an issue while listening to him. Anyway, he preached about unity yesterday which was a good message, but his prayers were what got me. He prayed for P. and his family and for us as a congregation. He reminded us that even when things are so bad you can't imagine it any worse, Jesus is always there. Stand firm together in that knowledge. I think this is where having a church comes in handy. There are times that standing firm by yourself is just too much - too hard, but when you have a church family, they help lift you up - help you remember what is true & right and keep your eye on the prize.

Amid all my happiness yesterday with Becca's birthday and having hubby's Mom & Dad, sister & Nana over for dinner, my heart was still troubled. It wasn't noticed by anyone, I don't think. I don't want to say that I felt "guilty" for being happy, but I certainly wished there was a way to send happiness over to the M. Family. I wished I could have had them over and heard them laughing and enjoying themselves. I guess there really is a time to mourn and a time to laugh. I felt caught between the two. Then I wondered how complex we are that we can experience two extremes in what seemed like the same moment.

Life is good which I've reminded myself in more than one of these blog entries. We may have some bumps in the road were traveling, but nothing life shattering. I looked at David in particular this morning and thought he was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on and thought of all the hugs & kisses he gives and has given me. Sweet, beautiful boy. Then I was angry with Thomas for not being ready on time and how he was moving like a snail when he is 9 and a half and a big boy now and should know how to have his things ready for school. Invariably, I always think after the fact that that isn't what I would want him to remember if I got hit by a bus and died today. Tempering my words is one of my biggest obstacles in this life and I truly hope that before I die I finally learn the lesson that angry words are better left unspoken. You know what is the most ironic thing to me? That the more I learn and experience in life, the more I realize that I don't know squat. Humbling for sure.

TGIF

Thank God it's Friday....
Why?

I think this term was made up for people who work outside of the home AND who do not ever work weekends. Seriously. What the heck is so good about Friday? I mean, they even named a restaurant TGIFridays...WHY?

When I worked outside of the home back when my two eldest were little, Fridays were good because I knew I had the weekend off, but I was TIRED from working the whole week. Saturday was a MUCH better day and led to a much fresher faced Di. Truth be told, Saturday nights were always the better night to go out and have fun.

Now that I've been retired from Accounting for over 13 years, Fridays aren't anything at all to me. It's just another day. No break. Sometimes even Saturdays don't feel like a break because my darling husband still has to work. I mean, during the school year it just means the little ones will be under feet for the next two days and begging to play Nintendo DS or the big ones will be asking which friend they can have over or go somewhere with.

I actually love Sundays, truth be told. They are a day where we all are together. No one works. Usually half of us go to church (which is next door, btw - no real hardship to get there) and we're out by 11. Sundays during the winter months are usually the best for me. I cook a little and then take nice leisurely naps on the sofa in front of the TV. Ahhhhhh...niiiiiiiiccccccce. It is like my own little slice of heaven on earth.....

So yeah, today is Friday and nothing is different from the four days that came before it. I'm doing laundry and cleaning the house. Can't wait for Sunday though....... :)