Are people just rude?

So as I was sitting in the hell I call the orthodontist's office waiting for Thomas to be done with his appointment, some woman's cell phone rang. It was rather a loud obnoxious ring - quite like my own Hawaii Five-O theme song ring. Except, when I go into an office (or somewhere similar), I turn mine to vibrate or off altogether. Sometimes, gasp, I even leave the darn thing in the car.

So this woman answers her phone. And then proceeds to have a conversation with the person on the other end - in a room FULL of people. Quiet people. Who couldn't help, but overhear said phone call. She tells the person on the other end that she is at the orthodontist's office. Still the call doesn't end. She is annoyed with said person on other end. The conversation keeps going. By the end, I concluded that this was either her mother or her ex husband. The tone of the conversation was not a happy one. My thought was, if this is a call you absolutely had to take, why didn't you step outside the office? I saw another woman do the same exact thing just minutes after I got there. Isn't that the polite thing to do?

I think if this were the first time it happened I might be less annoyed, but the last time I sat in the same orthodontist's office waiting for Jeremy, some woman had a loud conversation on her cell phone in the middle of busy office and there was no point to it. NONE. She was just shooting the shit with a friend or neighbor. I cringed the whole time thinking to myself, "do you really think I (and every other single person making up your captive audience) want to know all about your life in such intimacy?" I mean, c'mon?! Is common courtesy rocket science now?

Most -probably all- of the people who will read this know that I have a cell phone and I text on it regularly. It is the way that I keep in touch with my children, husband and other family members. I also talk on it once in awhile when hubby decides he can't text fast enough to tell me what he needs. I try very hard to be courteous especially when within the confines of a small, totally filled waiting room though. Even yesterday as my phone vibrated constantly from the texts Jerm & my SIL were sending me, I turned off the vibrate mode and kept it on silent. In such a small, quiet room - vibrate was even too loud.

I guess I just don't get why some people are so discourteous. I mean this certainly isn't ruining my life and I wasn't seriously injured because of it, but I have to wonder why thinking of others first isn't a common theme when it comes to cell phone use. I also should apologize to anyone I have ever offended by using my own phone. After these two encounters, I've been far more careful and will continue to be...

Recovery time

The cyroablation went well yesterday. The only discomfort I had was really my bladder being full and getting more full as the procedure went on. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the procedure is done via ultrasound so the u/s tech was pushing around near my bladder while the doctor used the probe to burn away my uterine lining.

The actual procedure itself is done in two parts. They started on my left side. 9mins 30sec. Temps that reached -99C. Then we wait for the probe to warm up some before it is moved to the right side because as the doctor pointed out, we wouldn't want a situation like the tongue stuck to the flag pole in Christmas Story. hahaha 9min. 30sec. on the left side. Again, temps that reached -99C. Probe warms up. Probe comes out. Damn speculum comes out (that thing just never is comfortable - ever - even after all these years and all those kids). I am told to slowly get up and then I can go empty my bladder. YAY! Of course in my excitement of getting to empty my bladder, I forget my sweats & undies out in the room so I have to go out commando to get them. lol I get dressed and the u/s tech walks me down the hall. She asks if I am feeling ok. I say that I'm fine and she tells me that I look rather pale. I laughed out loud and told her that so many nurses have thought the same thing after I've had babies. I am always rather anemic and I just have pale skin. I just look like death warmed over, but I'm actually ok.

So I get my follow up appt. with my NP and as I am walking out the door, Chris is walking in. He is surprised that my procedure went so quickly (just under an hour and this office is NEVER quick about anything). He asks how I am and I say tired. I also tell him that I need to eat (per doctors orders). I tell him I want to go to Mrs. Lynda's. She is my friend and owns a coffee house. She makes awesome wraps. I love chicken salad. So he buys me one and an apple fritter because he loves me so. While talking to my buddy Lynda, I start to not feel so good. The drug cocktail must be wearing off along with the local anesthetic. I get home and start to feel sick. I lay down and sleep for awhile. No one bothers me. I wake up and have some crampy pain so I eat half of my wrap. I take another vicodin per doctor's orders. I sleep...and sleep...and sleep. I wake up. I don't feel so good. I go into the bathroom to empty my bladder and I get the feeling I'm going to be sick. Oh no...I pull the garbage can over. spit, spit, spit...swallow, swallow, swallow. Tell myself no getting sick, no getting sick, no getting sick - over and over and over again. I feel better. I go back to bed. I think maybe I should eat, but someone is texting me.

I have a texting conversation with my SIL (her only son, my nephew) leaves for Marine boot camp in two weeks. She is holding up, but I know it is only for her son's sake. My heart goes out to her and I love her so much. She is my sister. She asks me how I am and I tell her. I ask her how she is and she says she's keeping it together. I tell her that I am here for her with a shoulder or an ear or just for some simple retail therapy. She thanks me and says she'll be taking me up on all of it. I tell her I'm tired now...she lets me go back to resting. But then, out of the blue...the urge comes back to toss my cookies and this time I know I won't be able to resist. I run to the bathroom and there they go. Twice. But I feel so much better. And it wasn't my whole lunch anyway. I figure it is probably best not to take the vicodin any longer. My body just does not do well with pain meds. In fact, I take nothing else the rest of the night. I ate some bread & butter and a banana (and my apple fritter...lol) I fall asleep around 10 and wake up around 7 this morning feeling achy...like the flu achy. I took some OTC advil. Two. I feel ok. Not great - not ready to get on my treadmill, but ok.

During my sleeping time yesterday I had phone calls from J (I loved seeing your name on my caller ID even if you didn't mean to call) and my sister. My MIL called later that night, but spoke with Chris. I had so many lovely messages on my FB wall from my awesome friends. Believe me when I say that those messages made my heart sing with joy. I love you all...you are the BESTIES in the WHOLE UNICORN...For sure - for real - forever!

So today, I'm just going to do some laundry and rest some more. I hope by tomorrow that I can get back into the groove of life and go on my merry way....

It's the big day

And I'm nervous as all heck.

Couldn't sleep last night until after midnight. Didn't sleep well and was awake with Chris' alarm around 6. Almost done with my coffee and then I need to eat a light breakfast, shower, take my meds and drink 24 oz. of water so that my bladder is nice and full for the procedure. Gah...maybe I should have had the bladder fixed first, eh?

And you realize that I get generic drugs (free so I shouldn't complain)...so I looked at the pills last night. The Ativan or some type of "pam" is little. No biggie. There are 4 of those. I think I'm supposed to take just one (I have to look over my instructions again). The ibuprofen? HOLY MOLY...size of a third world country and UNcoated...ICK...have to take one. On to the Vicodin (or hydrocodone) and it's more of the same and I have to get two of these babies down! For the love of PETE, why don't they put a coating on these darn things. I mean really - is it going to make the cost go up that much? Give me a good ol' capsule or gel cap any day. Hell, just give me some kind of damn coating so it doesn't start dissolving before it goes down my throat please.

So, with that bit of ranting (or would you say whining?) I'm off. I hope that this procedure goes well and that the AF's of old become just a distant memory. For what I wouldn't give to be done with super plus tampons and over night pads being changed every friggen hour on the hour for two days straight every month. Can't say I'll miss that!

:) Makes me smile

So with my new found "confidence" in myself, I decided to put myself out there on Facebook by friend requesting a bunch of people (only guys...lol...go figure) that graduated high school with me. We are having our 20yr reunion this October and I am on the planning committee. I would be heartbroken if any of them turned me down or blocked me. Seriously. (How stupid is that - it's not like they were my "best friends"!)

So after I did the requesting, I went and cleaned the 'fridge...because I felt stupid and wished I could take back all the requesting. But guess what? TWO already accepted my friend request!!! How cool is that?!

Yeah, so they aren't my best friends and I'm still kinda nervous that they might think I am a freak, but they didn't block me...

Keeping to myself

I've just realized why I am in such a bad, witchy mood...the darn curse is due on Wednesday (2 days after my ablation...)!

While it explains things, it doesn't change my attitute. If you don't hear from me for a few days, I'm trying to keep my overall witchiness to myself. I can hardly stand myself so I wouldn't want to inflict anyone else with it. I promise that I will be back to my usual spunky self in a couple of days.............

I am a bad sister.

I spoke to my sister last night. Generally, I don't take her calls unless I have to. While I love her and I want only good things for her, her life is all about drama. There is always something and frankly, I just don't have the energy for it anymore. I spent many years being a stable adult figure for her young children when she went through her first divorce. I would drop anything I was doing if she called and said "I need you". My life pretty much revolved around hers and I look back and think "How the heck did I do it?" Oh wait, I didn't really have much on my plate. No kids, a good job, a great boyfriend. I was just a kid myself, really.

So it was an ok conversation last night. I mean it was the usual where I don't get a word in edgewise and she does all the talking except for the occasional "Uh huh" from my end, but it wasn't the earth shattering, my life is falling apart stuff. I can handle that. I mean, Chris wasn't home, we had eaten dinner rather late even for us and the kiddos were eating their ice cream so I had a few minutes. All is good - we hang up the phone and life goes on until this morning...

I open my email after I do my web browsing in the morning while drinking my coffee right before I sign off to get laundry done or the kitchen clean or whatever else I think I must do at the moment. Today there is an email from my sister. Ok. I open it because it looks fairly innocuous. (ugh). She has had another "discussion" with her current husband (after our conversation last night). In my eyes, he's a friggen' idiot who I have zero respect for, but remember I've only heard one side of the conversations and my tie is with my sister. She tells me that he "hates" her - that he said this. That during this intense conversation about their life he gets up, takes a shower and goes to bed. She's now left him. Taken his credit cards and some keys. And is she a bad mother for wanting to only take Olivia? - because see they adopted a sibling pair from Cambodia and Simon - the oldest -, well, he has some serious mental issues...like they've been told he has severe attachment issues and is likely a sociopath. Are you kidding me?! What the hell am I supposed to say? Oh and for clarification, her 4 children from her first marriage are all fully grown adults. All over the age of 21, don't live at home.

As callous as this sounds, I don't care. Do whatever the hell you'd like, but leave me out of it. I can't go there. I find it incredibly selfish that life should revolve around these issues that she and her hubby are having. Either get some counseling or cut bait, but why keep going around and around on the same damn issues for years and years and years. WHY? I also have already gone this route with her. While I don't wish anything bad, I just want to be left alone about it. And please, PLEASE don't move back to CT and bring this bunch of horse poop with you! I don't want my kids involved - I don't want myself involved. Get your shit together on your own and figure it out. Ah, what I wouldn't give to be able to say this, but you know what? I would never. It would never cross my lips.

So I am stuck between really wanting to tell her to grow the fuck up (sorry for any virgin ears) and being the strong, stable person in her life. In many ways I feel like I owe her. She became my mother figure when she was 15 and my mother decided that she was done with my father. My sister stepped up and ran an 8 room colonial with an alcoholic father, a 5 year old sister and an older brother who was just about out of the house (our eldest brother had recently got married). That's a tall order for a girl just a year older than my Rebecca. She did it. I love her for it. I guess I wonder when it is ok to let go. When have I paid my dues for that because I feel incredibly guilty every time I think she needs to "get a life".

Now for the record, I don't have the perfect life. I mess up regularly. I am flawed. BUT, I have a good life. I am continually in awe of the blessings I have. Beautiful, healthy kiddos. A kind, loving husband who is also my best friend. A MIL & FIL who love me like their own daughter. A nice house on a nice piece of land. A brand new vehicle. A gym membership. Health insurance. You see...I could go on and on and on at all the GOOD things in my life - although I know it isn't perfect. I guess I wonder why some people only find the flaws and others focus on the good. I mean, seriously, there are lots of not so pleasant things (mainly money related) that happen in my life, but for the most part, it could ALWAYS be worse. Someone else always has it worse than I do somewhere.

I just don't know how to deal with this although I know I cannot get involved with it to the extent that I have been involved before. So what do I say? How do I stay somewhat supportive without being swept away....

Why you shouldn't clean your bedroom.

And I'm sure you're asking "Why?"

Well, you put things in "safe" places when you clean your room. Unfortunately, at my age, it is safe from myself and unsafe from the many children running around the house. (I'm really out of practice at thinking like a 2yo)

I cannot find the &^%$#@( treadmill key. NO WHERE. It is really making me angry because lets face it - At 4:00pm, I'm not going to get to the gym today and with a dinner date, I'm not going to get to the gym tonight. Especially if the dinner hosts ply me with wine. I won't even want to walk across the street to my house - never mind getting in my car and driving 15 minutes to the gym. I mean, I even took my towel off the treadmill and moved Em's toys so I could put it in the proper position. GAH!

While I am feeling particularly lazy and my shin is still hurting a tiny bit, I really should get at least 30 minutes in. One half hour wouldn't kill me and in fact, it will make my heart beat a little bit better, right?

I guess I'll just go away and sulk...