Oh P90X, Please help me!

I am bored with running/walking. What used to be fun and a great escape has turned into the dreaded. Not exercising is not an option for me. I hate it, but I know it needs to be done. For the last couple of weeks, I've done little to none. NOT healthy. I've had quite a few headaches and while some may be chalked up to sinus issues, some have been most definitely blood pressure related.

So because I am out of shape, I've decided to try P90X. I likely will do the "Lean" version which incorporates more cardio which is heart healthy (and likely to make my blood pressure get back to normal levels.) I "tried" disc one today. Chest & back. Yeah, right. Try kicking the ass out of my arms is more like it. Lots of push ups and pull ups. No, I can't do a pull up...I used resistance bands and still couldn't even do what they wanted me to because I don't have anything to anchor my bands to in the ceiling. At any rate, I'm sure by tomorrow my arms will have fallen off or be in super massive pain. Good thing I'll be doing something "different" then.

So I am hoping my 90 day journey results in a leaner, stronger me. At least that is what I'm shooting for. Oh and a healthy blood pressure....that would be good.

I think I overdid it and other ramblings

I woke up with a pretty sore shin this morning. I had been so excited that my periods of jogging were getting longer (the cardio is so easy to see progress) and faster (was up to 4.5 mph) that I didn't pay much attention to my shins when they were tightening up. If you run harder, they feel better...

I know I get shin splints from walking and I definitely get them from running. Doesn't matter if I am on the road or the treadmill, but I pushed myself anyway. You know why? Because it burns more calories than the "easier on my body", much preferred, elliptical machine. :( While my main concern is/was my blood pressure, I wanted to magically lose 10lbs in my first week. I know, I know....so ridiculously unattainable. I'm trying really hard not to set those unattainable goals because I really think that is what sets me up for failure each time I've tried to do this before. I am trying to focus on overall health and let that weight issue fall where it may, but it sucks. It really sucks. I want my clothes to fit. I want to put away those clothes that I've had to buy in the last 4 years and wear the clothes that I wore before I got pregnant with David.

While my body was not as thin & lithe before I had David as it was after having Jeremy & Rebecca, it was within a healthy weight for my age and I felt good about it. That is a pretty magical feeling...being comfortable in your own skin. I think that was probably one of the only times in my life that I felt confident in myself. It showed on the inside & the outside. I was so happy. Chris and I had discussed being done having kids and I was ok with it. I had AFs that came every 28 days and I knew when I ovulated every month. Everything was organized & spot on in life. And then...then one month my AF was late. I took a test and sure enough, David was on his way. Funny how life changes so quickly.

So anyway, I'm trying hard not to put ridiculously unattainable goals on myself. Slow and steady...slow and steady. That must become my new mantra. It is easy to say, but oh so hard to follow.