Bailey, shortly after getting off the rescue transport

Guinness and Bailey

Pup Bailey with old girl, Molly

Yesterday I said goodbye to another fur baby.  My beloved black lab mix, Bailey, went over the Rainbow Bridge with some help from our vet.  I rubbed his head and ears and sobbed while I held my phone so my boys who are both in the service could "be there" too.  He died in our front yard surrounded by the people who loved him best not far from where both his pals, Molly and Guinness, also took their last breaths.  He is buried in the shade in our backyard not far from Guinness. 

For the last 20 years or so years I have had at least two dogs.  Many years I had three if you include Jeremy's dog, Jameson, who is a permanent resident in our home despite Jeremy's change of residence about 3 years ago. We are now down to just Jameson.  I'm not sure how he will cope as he has never been without another dog as a companion.  I am most worried about the Fall when we all start back to school and no one is here to hang out with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays (I have a full class load both days).

I have loved all my dogs...and granddog.  The thing is, Bailey was MY dog.  He was my constant companion from the time we picked him up off of the rescue transport.  He was a stray and almost pure black so most likely to be euthanized when he was offered to us through the rescue service we used.  He was not like other black labs.  He was not high energy, playful or interested in playing fetch with a ball or stick.  He did love to run though and play with Guinness and Jameson.  He would tear through the yard at what seemed like 90mph.  He also loved to bite back paws when rough housing which would bring his playmate to its knees and he was fun to watch when he played.  And winter?  His most favorite time of the year.  I was amazed this past winter when I knew he was slowing down that he got outside and rolled around in the snow and was almost like a puppy again.  Whatever abuse he suffered before coming to us, here he received only love and devotion from every one of us - even Emma despite his bite to her face when she irritated him one too many times as a toddler.

I spent a lot of time with Bailey.  I followed a Cesar Milan approach with him and he was well mannered, followed commands - even hand ones, and was a joy to take out on leash.  He was often extremely shy around other people and was not fond of young children - never mean, just wanted to avoid them at all cost.  I can count on one hand the amount of people outside of our house that Bailey would allow to get close to him at first meet.  He was definitely a one family dog.  Again, never mean, just not sociable with people.  He loved other dogs, however.

He followed me where ever I went.  If I was in the basement doing laundry, he was in the basement with me.  If I was out hanging laundry, he was outside with me.  If I was up in bed, he was on my side of the bed on the floor.  My shadow.  My old man.  Simply the BEST dog EVER.  He loved car rides too and we took him whenever we could until his hips and eyesight did not allow him to get in/out anymore.  And he and Guinness were my running partners for a very long time.  Two leashes, two harnesses and they could never contain their excitement so getting the harnesses on was always a feat.  I tried to run once without Bailey.  He literally took the hit from the electric fence and ran after me.  He probably would have stayed right with me, but I was always afraid he'd get hit by a car because people around here don't always slow down the way I was taught to.

Dogs teach people love.  They listen to secrets and never tell.  Their fur dries tears that no other human knows about and they are always happy to see you, get pet, be loved.  They don't ask for anything in return.  They just love.  Unconditionally.  This is why it is so hard to make the decision to end their life.  These decisions never come easy and they are filled with such sadness and questions of whether you waited to long or maybe you could have waited longer.   The vet told us yesterday that it was definitely time.  He lived a long and good life surrounded by people and dogs who loved him and cared for him.

There is a HUGE hole in my heart right now.  It's the size of a medium sized, black lab mix named Bailey...I'm not sure it will ever heal.