Insomnia Bites

It is 3:30am. I should be sleeping. I woke up at 1:46am with a start realizing that my hubby had not called or texted me since about 8:30pm when they had stopped for gas. I'm sure he didn't want to wake me and I appreciate it, but I worry. I would like to think that no news is good news. Yeah, I'm going to go with that because short of calling the hotel, I have no other way of knowing. I texted him and have heard nothing back in two hours.

So I can't sleep. My hubby being gone is rare and it is unsettling to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I like weekends away with my girlfriends or other family members. I enjoy getting away from the daily grind of housework and taking care of little ones (and the not so little ones), but I don't sleep well there either. Sleeping next to my hubby is where I am meant to be.

I cannot tell you how many times I have woken up from a horrible, scary dream and had him to comfort me or how many times his rhythmic breathing helped get me back to sleep because something else had woken me.

I don't like to sleep alone at all which is why David is tucked into my bed nicely right now. He knew as soon as it was decided that Daddy was going away that he'd have his spot. If you must know, this is the same boy who climbs in our bed almost nightly without much thinking. Knowing from experience, they stop eventually. Jeremy and Becca both climbed into bed with us regularly and suffice to say, they don't anymore. I love having my littlest boy next to me most of the time.

So today was a weird day. I worked all morning trying to get clothing (ties, shirts, pants) ironed and ready as well as baking some magic bars for their long ride. I started changing Em's clothes out putting the last of her summer dresses and clothing away or into a bag for donating right before they left. I felt so out of sorts. Depressed, but tired too. It was like I was living in a fog all day. I had planned on taking the kids to BIL & SIL's house for a birthday party, but it was 4pm - I was supposed to be there at 4pm - and I was just heading out to Target (which is 25 minutes in the opposite direction). I spent WAY more than I intended at Target and then came home to a supper of Taquitos. I know...my one guilty processed food pleasure and the kids love them too. I realized halfway through supper that we were out of milk so I took a drive to the convenience store and picked some up along with some vanilla ice cream. I decided Becca and I would have root beer floats after the kids went to bed. So glad I tucked a 12 pack away without anyone noticing beforehand. Jeremy would have totally drank away at my stash if he knew.

Tomorrow will be another long day. There is church (yuck - will this feeling ever disappear?) and all of the kids will have to come along. Usually Chris keeps David & Em because David thinks church is "boring" and has no problem speaking those words loudly so the congregation can hear him and Em, well, she is just a handful and has a hard time sitting still for too long. After church is Family Day up at the Senior Housing Center/park in town. Most everything is free and they have face painting, bounce house/slides, games, etc. all geared for the kids. Thomas will be joining his friend's family for the day after church and I will take Daniel, David & Em with me. Becca has friends she wants to hang with for the day - probably across the street in front of the library, but that's ok. After that, we will head home for a quick supper and then the mad dash to get school stuff done. Lunches, showers, milk money for the week. Maybe tomorrow night I won't wake up and not be able to sleep, but even so, I know once hubby gets home, I'll sleep better.

Off to see if sleep will come...it's almost 4am now. Even the extra 2-3 hours I might get now will make tomorrow easier.... a girl can dream.

Saturday - Glorious Saturday

I did not have to bring J to the park so he could coach t-ball today. No, I did not! My big boy got his license and brought himself in his own car, thankyouverymuch. I did however have to say good bye to the hubster who is working all day. And also told me that he likely has to work tomorrow too. Gah. He has been SOOO busy lately and I'm not complaining really since work is a good thing and will pay our many, many bills, but I still miss having him around.

Last night I picked up a good friend and hit a flip flop party at my SILs house. (www.toegoz.com) It wasn't like a typical "in home" party for the fact that there wasn't any sales pitch. The product was out, she had catalogs and you could try on what was there and buy or not. It was rather nice, actually. I ended up buying two pairs, but only for the fact that my feet are small enough to buy the youth sizes (which were $11 cheaper than the adult sizes). Unfortunately the youth sizes didn't have the best selection, but they did have one style that I really, REALLY liked and the adult sizes didn't offer it. Here are the ones I chose:

http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2312&category=tweens
http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2309&category=tweens

Tonight we have plans to head to another one of hubby's high school friends' get togethers. These are so much fun and I look forward to them almost more than hubby does! I have really hit it off with so many of the women that graduated with him and count them among some of my best friends. I'm torn on whether I will want wine, beer or if I want to pick up some tequila and have margaritas. I had a nice Shiraz last night so maybe I'll drink Corona tonight. Before the day gets much later I will also need to make some empanadas. They have become my "signature dish" among these get togethers and I would hate to disappoint my loyal eaters of said cookies.

Tomorrow is church (unless of course hubby needs to work in the morning) and I've been told that the congregation voted and we will be going back to having sunday school during the sermon instead of after church is over. I'm relieved. I may even stay beyond this summer. Again, change is so often tortuous for me. And the thing is that when I am put on the spot about change without having some time to mull things over, I more often than not do not speak my displeasure. I need to work on that. Either I need to learn to digest things faster in my brain or I need to start telling people that I will have to think it over. I'm guessing the latter is likely the right choice.

On the exercise front, I've been averaging about 15 miles per week on the treadmill and am still doing pilates and stretching after. I haven't lost more than a couple of pounds, but I keep going. J did show me a P90X exercise for my abs yesterday that is so simple yet burns the hell out of my abs. I am supposed to get up to a count of 25. I barely got to 8 or 9 today. I love to change the pilates/ab stuff up so I was thankful for that. Someday I hope to be able to start P90X and follow the program, but for now I am proud of myself for making exercise part of my daily routine...especially those days that I want nothing more than to skip it. Baby steps & every day is a new day have become my motto. I may even start leaving myself love notes around the house telling myself that I am worth it! hahaha I also got a great email from a friend the other day telling me about a great new diet plan. It's the Dawn Keye diet...it shoes a picture of a donkey in the 'fridge with a caption that reads: "Dawn Keye Diet - Keep your ass out of the 'fridge!" Uh, yeah....I need to remember that one!

And on that note I bid you all adieu for another few days. I'm off to make my cookies, shower and enjoy the sunshine and beautiful weather (all while using proper sunscreen...this peeling stuff sucks!)