I lost a morning!

I was feeling rather sad this morning. Perhaps it even bordered on sorry for myself. Being friends with family on FB has been challenging at times. Most of my readers know the constant ups and downs with my sister in law. What you may not know is that my BIL & SIL's four children are close in age/same age as our four youngest. In fact, two of them are 5 days apart. I know at the beginning, this caused much heartache for my SIL because I think she wanted her first pregnancy to be all about her so when I announced weeks later that I was pregnant, it didn't go over very well. The fact that I had just had two miscarriages in a row didn't mean a thing. Now this is just background. I've long since gotten over this and my SIL pulled her head out of her ass a long time ago as well. Needless to say, our boys were born 3 weeks to the day and almost to the hour apart. They have grown up together and love each other very much. Even though SIL and I may not be able to be confident in each other's intentions, our children all love each other very much just as cousins should.

So this morning as I was perusing the status updates, I came across SIL's. Apparently they are taking M. to a water park for his "friend" birthday party (the family party is on Sunday and we all will be attending). I was taken aback and immediately felt sorry for my boys. In fact, I felt angry even. We've always invited the cousins for parties. Last year T. had a Mad Science birthday party and we invited their two oldest. I felt the same anger and resentment and hurt that always seems to erase whatever nice feelings I have for my SIL. How dare she rub my nose in the fact that she is taking her son to an indoor water park and not invite my boys?! I hate to admit that my whole morning was spent grumbly and irritated. Of course, this also may had something to do with the fact that there was no coffee and hubby had to get his haircut before getting more and the fact that we are having some major money issues right now. As far as the latter, I do not know how this happened except that cash flow just stopped. We have made all the important payments (trucks, mortgage, food), but we are falling behind on almost everything else and I'm ready for spring. Thankfully hubby already has work lined up, but we need the weather to cooperate now. No more snow please.

So when hubby got home and made the coffee, he noticed how witchy I was. I didn't say anything to him, but that was the point I guess. I was quiet and my body language was a dead give away. He came up stairs and I finally spilled what my issues were. He looked at me and said that SIL had told him last night that they were taking M. to the water park and he was only allowed one friend. Immediately I felt awful. I mean, even if M had asked for T to go, that would leave D out. While I usually don't buy into the whole "keep it fair" stuff, I have to admit that this would have been overly hurtful to D who is extremely sensitive. Hubby also reminded me that if T had to choose one friend for something, it likely wouldn't have been M. He would have chose a friend from school. Duh, of course he would. Sometimes I wonder why my brain can function in an analytical way at one time and then be a total mess at others. I think it has something to do with not using my brain once the whole feeling of hurt/anger/sadness comes in. I really need to work on this.

So I am feeling better, but I just realized that I have wasted a WHOLE morning on this. David will be off the bus in 15 minutes and I'm not even showered nor have I done anything except one load of laundry. Dude...I have a whole house to clean! D'oh! So yeah, if you need me today, I'm trying to make up for my emotional morning.