Come out, come out wherever you are!

I've tried in vain to come up with fun and/or witty things to write about the past couple of weeks. You see, I started this blog to be able to decompress thoughts and feelings in my head and as I read back through the last dozen or so posts, I am disgusted that all I seem to be able to write about is girlfriend drama or kids or whatever. Nothing meaty or helpful or even a bit enjoyable.

I know I can be witty...hell, sometimes even downright funny. I know I'm intelligent and I care about the world around me and the events taking place in it. However, I also realize that I don't have the time anymore to get all my ducks in row on some subjects (politics anyone?). I am trying to better myself in so many ways on top of trying to keep the house in running order and family up to speed. I find myself with a lot less time to think - never mind write.

I wish I could come up with something eloquent about how autumn in New England makes me feel. Or tell a tale or two about how I spend my 1/2 days of freedom now that number 6 is in Pre-K. Truth be told, I don't think anyone really cares about my run of the mill run on the treadmill or how I lost my breath two miles into my run and had to walk for a bit down the street. I don't think anyone wants to hear how I drink my coffee, run, do laundry and try to clean each and every day or why my library books sat here because I just couldn't find the time to bring them back when they were due.

And just so I am sure I am not setting the wrong tone, I am not upset about this. I think what I am finding out is that my RL isn't so very overwhelming (and at the same time underwhelming) anymore. I don't need an outlet as much as I used to. I am finding that even some of my IF's are becoming a part of my RL and that is awesome.

I used the computer to find friends during a time in my life that I couldn't/wouldn't find them around me and now those same friends have changed how I look at myself and my world. I've learned so much about keeping my mouth shut when I'm not certain about the stuff coming out of it (well, this always could use work...lol), about empathy and being the kind of person that people want to be like and really just living...being a part of the human race.

My journey to a better me is not even close to being done (as far as I know), but I'm enjoying it more. Perhaps knowing that my 40th birthday is looming large on the horizon also has something to do with making sure I'm living my life in a way that I'll look back and be pleased with who I've surrounded myself with and what I've accomplished. Perhaps it is even because my eldest will be 18. He is beginning adulthood and I am firmly planted here already. It often makes me reflect on what is past, but more importantly, what I want to see & feel in the future.

So I apologize for the lack of witty, entertaining posts over the last 6 or so months. I hope to rectify it at some point, but if I don't, at least you all know that I'm off living the life that I hope will be with very few regrets.