Oh Shitty Day - please go far, far away.

Today started off pretty good. Enjoyed a hot cup of coffee in a quiet house. Tended the fire to get the house warm for my Mom. Then my sister called.

Today was the day that my sister planned on removing my mother's things from her house. The lawyer (all civilized forms of communications are done through these people, right?) sent word back that my brother would be allowed to pick up my mother's things, no one would be allowed in the house AND my sister was not allowed ON the property per "their lawyer".

Ok, so my sister stayed on the sidewalk while my brother in law (her husband), his Dad and my eldest son removed the things in boxes that my stepfather's family had packed. When asked if there was anything missing, my sister noticed my mother's tea cup holder was not accounted for. My brother in law went back in and they said, "sorry, J. (stepfather) said that is his." When I heard this, my day started on the downhill track.

Now I am so effing angry. I can't seem to shake it. The day progresses and the knot in my tummy grows larger and larger. My sister arrives with my mother's picture of her and her twin brother when they were babies (they won a baby contest with this photo). My mother breaks down and sobs when she sees this photo. It means the world to her as she is the only one left out of her family. Her parents & siblings are all gone. My sister and I hug and during the hug she whispers in my ear that they have stolen all my mother's jewelry. ALL of it. None of these things was worth much, but they were handed down from my great grandmother to my Nana to my mother. They stole them. They stole pictures out of my mother's picture book that my sister made for her. They are money grubbing piece of shits. I wish I could have punched them all in the face. Really.

The granddaughter FORGED checks to the tune of 6-9 thousand dollars (to which the bank is in the process of gathering evidence to go after her) and yet they felt the need to steal from my mother. WHY? She never once treated them badly. She always treated them as family. I find it quite ironic that her own children NEVER, NOT ONCE, asked her for anything, yet these people received money and food every time they couldn't pay a bill or feed their children. I waiver back and forth thinking that my stepfather is a loser of epic proportions and then feel badly that he is left with these people. My boy told me that he smells and my brother in law said that he was greasy and unwashed. No one cares for his needs and yet he clings to his "house" and his "things". As much as I want to feel that we have far more than they will ever know, I am angry. And hurt. And frustrated at my lack of ability to do anything about it. I pine for my own father because he always knew what to do. He always knew the right thing. I don't know anything and again I am reminded that I suck at being the safety net. I'm not ready for this roll yet I know I have no choice.

I keep praying for strength and trying to remember that my faith will see me through, but I've gotta admit. It's not so easy today.