Adult Caregiving

So, I've stepped into the realm of being an adult caregiver. This isn't something I was totally unready for, but let's just say, I wasn't fully prepared either. Having had many children probably makes the adult caregiver role a bit easier since it requires many of the same things and strategies.

I've shared about my issues with my mother that go back to when I was a child. I now have full care of my mother most weekdays (she has Alzheimer's) for an undetermined amount of time. It is all consuming. It makes me want to cry many days. Sometimes for just being SO tired and other times just because the roles have reversed between mother and child. It is very hard hearing my mother tell me that she is confused and does not know "where she is". Sometimes I have little patience for hearing the same things over and over again, but then she'll sing along to some old country songs and her happiness makes everything right again.

I think this disease is pretty awful. To watch someone lose their faculties slowly, but steadily is pretty damn awful. While we can prepare ourselves that death is coming, you never know how long you will have to watch before it does. You never know what is in store that day. My sister has told me that I will have aged about 5 years if I have my mother for just one short month. She knows. She did this for my father who had dementia. I watched my grandmother deteriorate with this same disease and for the first time, I understand what my own mother must've went through. It's not fair, but as we all know, life isn't fair. I will say that I've been SO blessed with these amazing friends who text or send messages to make sure I have sanity checks and cheer me on.

I hope that my children are spared such things when it comes to their father and I although their compassion and love for their not often seen grandmother is really touching. They care for her, engage her in their life and give her love that she never knew until now. They have each made sacrifices for her to come and live here as comfortably as possible and not one of them has complained or acted like a nitwit. I'm so thankful for their ability to adapt and accept for their family.

I am mostly thankful for the opportunity to care for my mother. I am thankful that I can be the one to hug her when she is confused and tell her it is ok. Perhaps this will help heal my hurts from long ago, but even if it doesn't, I can say that I did the right thing. Not the easiest thing, but the right thing. I finally stepped up and did what was needed. I grew up.