My first post as a 40 year old

Pondering life at 40 years old?


Damn...written out it sure looks scary, doesn't it?! It doesn't feel scary. I don't "feel" forty anymore than I felt thirty or thirty five or thirty nine. For me, it really is just a number.

I did have a sort of rude awakening at the Cape over Mother's Day weekend, however. I stepped out of the shower and because there is a HUGE mirror right there, I noticed that I have developed pretty scary "buh bye" arms. You know...the kind where they keep waving even after you stop?! I can laugh about it now, but it did hit me hard that I am indeed looking middle aged these days. My face? Maybe not so much, but the rest of my body is giving itself away!

I had a really nice birthday weekend. Rang in my birthday sleeping under the stars in my new tent and even newer sleeping bag with children, numbers 3, 5 & 6. Unfortunately, my air mattress has a leak so by the time 3am rolled around, I was basically sleeping on the hard ground. It gets pretty cold outside at night in May - just in case you were wondering. The best part was watching number 6 wake up and realize she had slept outside all night. It was magical.

I woke up for good at 5:30am, took a shower to warm my bones and got ready for a 5k. Wunned the 5k (walked/ran) with some great friends, came home, took some laundry off the line, took the tent down and put away all the blankets back into the linen closet and then physically hit a wall. I was wiped. I laid down for a nap for an hour or so and then we all headed to my BIL & SIL's house for dinner.

Enjoyable dinner, but came home with a kickin' migraine so I basically took some meds and hit the sack. Now I'm looking forward to my big birthday bash this weekend. Can't wait to see friends & extended family and celebrate my milestone with the people I love best. Life is good. Damn good.

I'm going to leave you with some pictures from outside around the house. The bumblebee pictures were taken close to my clothesline on the perimeter of the garden. I love the bees...they buzz around doing their thing as I quietly do my thing hanging up my laundry and pondering things in life. The irises are near the chaise lounge shaped rock in the grassy U-shape of the driveway and my garden is tilled and ready for planting - hopefully this weekend.
My friend the bumblebee
Iris
Garden tilled & ready for planting
Another favorite - buttercups

Another weekend passes by

Monday, Monday.

This weekend went by pretty quickly which really just is in line with the week before it which zoomed by. Time just does not stand still these days.

Friday we had B's friend, Adri stay over. She is a senior at J's high school and attends B's high school part time (just Arts courses). The girls fell asleep before 10pm which should tell you how exhausting Dance Fest (and the lead up to it) was. We didn't do much Friday evening. T wasn't up for dance as we've all been fighting a cold this week. Hubby and I along with Dn. & Dv. went to spend some time with Nana during the evening as hubby's mom & sister were out that evening. Nana is well into her 90s and just is starting to not remember things. She spends the winters with my MIL & FIL and then goes back to her home sometime in May. I brought her some chocolate chocolate chip cookies and we had some tea. It was a nice quiet visit.

Saturday brought more rainy, cold weather. I did the treadmill that morning and had intended on doing some Pilates too, but the kids were crazy that morning - especially Em. She must've had 14 accidents and went through 20 pairs of underwear. The last straw was that she had a bm on the potty and never told anyone so she could get wiped properly. GRRRRRR. Anyway, after I showered both of us, we took a little nap. Hubby worked most of the day, J. had A. over and then around 9pm hubby and I brought Adri home, went to Evil-mart so we could get the stuff we needed for T's birthday & lasagna dinner the next day and then came home & hubby brought A. home.

I woke up on Sunday and started on getting T's requested cake done (angel food w/choc. pudding in the middle). I cleaned up the kitchen a bit and poured some coffee. I had full intentions of heading to church and then just decided not to. Bad me. I felt a bit guilty, but I worked that off on the treadmill, doing some arm work and pilates. I must've done one of the pilates moves the way I should have because my arse (glutes) hurt ALL day. I found that doing the exercises without the video talking to me is better. I can concentrate on making sure I'm doing the moves properly instead of making sure I'm keeping up. hahaha I'm not the most coordinated person. Thankfully my girls seem to be a bit better at the coordination!

So I started getting the lasagna prepared, the french bread baked and the salad made. At the last minute, I had hubby invite his single uncle who lives about 20 minutes away. By the time everyone arrived (around 4pm), I was just finishing up the salad and waiting on the whole wheat french bread to come out of the oven. I felt really discombobulated yesterday - like detached from things. My brain was fried and I just could NOT focus. It was really very weird. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sit still and my body literally ached from the exercise of the morning.

We sat down and ate. Well, the adults sat around the table (along w/Em) and the kiddos made their plates and found a place somewhere else. I hadn't put the leaves in the table or made sure we had plenty of extra chairs (again, I don't know where my head was yesterday). Even still, I don't think we can fit more than 12 around the table and we had 14 all together. Just about the time I started clearing the table, my BIL & SIL pulled in. I had ordered a cookbook from my nephews' & niece's school PTO and I wasn't able to pick it up last week so they were dropping it off because they were at my SIL's sister's house which is about 15 minutes from here. It was a bit awkward to have them show up since they weren't invited, but everyone else was. Hubby, bless his heart, was quick to invite them all in for T's cake, but BIL insisted that they needed to get home and left. I'm waiting to see if having everyone here, but them, causes ill will between SIL & I. I hope not. I had explained to SIL that we planned on having a kid party for T at a local indoor play place at a later date and that my nephew would be invited to that. This is standard operating procedure for BIL & SIL. There have been more times than I can count that we've not been invited to their home, but the rest of the family has been. Anyway, fingers crossed. I'm not in any mood for drama. Adding to the "Will there be drama?" question is that I found out that SIL may not be going to Cape Cod for Easter. My MIL (whom I invited to Easter dinner last week when I found out they weren't going) asked if we wanted to have dinner at her house. I asked her why because we all know I'm nosey like that. She told me about SIL staying home and I told her that no, we'd have dinner here, but that I would extend the invite to SIL (and whoever does not go to the Cape - apparently BIL is still going with some of the children??) I sent the email invite out this morning so we shall see. I cannot imagine SIL wanting to spend her free time with us, but it will be fine if she does. The more the merrier!

T loved his dinner, enjoyed his gifts and his cake & ice cream. Everyone left around 7:30. The boys made their lunches, took showers and then we all crashed out in my bed watching the beginning of Madagascar. Hubby got home around 9pm (he had to pick B up from youth group & drop A. off) and put the boys & Em to bed. He then was nice enough to give me a full body massage. Seriously - after the pain I had been in ALL day, I think I cried with joy a few times.

All in all, a pretty good weekend. I just hope that I am able to focus this week. Seriously, this not being able to focus stuff sucks.

just the weekend facts

It's another Monday. Hooray :)

I was happy to sleep in this morning although I do have quite a bit of laundry to do. Ok, a rather big bit because I slacked off at the end of last week and did nothing all weekend. The house probably could use a good cleaning too, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. I refuse to try and clean while the kids are home from school. It is a battle I will never win while they are small I'm afraid. It's ok. I know the dust bunnies and dirt in the sink will be there tomorrow. As long as the kitchen is clean, I'm ok for today.

Friday was fun. Bec brought home a friend from school so they could get ready for ACT's first semi formal dance. Bec and I shopped on Wednesday evening for a new dress & shoes for her and ended up with a pretty mid thigh length empire waisted dress. We also had to buy her a new bra - OMGOSH - Does she have boobage now!!! She came into my room before I had to leave for T's dance and asked me to pin the dress because she was a bit embarrassed at the amount of skin it was showing in the chest area. Hubby had offered to chaperone and so he brought both girls to the school and stayed. He and I texted back and forth a few times while he was there. I took T to dance with the other younger ones (J was home alone) and then went to hang out at the IL's for awhile. The kids had taken a movie for the wait at dance and I giggled through most of the movie (Barnyard). I still haven't actually seen the movie, but I listened to it. I can see why my kiddos like it!

Things are much better now that AF arrived. She arrived right on time Saturday and I had to take her to the big party that night. The fact that my mood was more even keeled was a blessing. Hubby and I did make up the other day and he did apologize. He knew I had a headache, but he also thought that I was using it as an excuse to play hooky from being in David's classroom. Perhaps he is a little bit right, but I just couldn't handle a headache and a room full of 3-5 year olds. I'm sure this probably makes me some kind of terrible mother, but since I know I'm not up for the MOTY award anyway, I'm ok with that.

We arrived at J&L's St. Paddy's party bringing a 12 pack of Corona Light & a lime, freshly baked Irish soda bread and some yummy, seedless raspberry empanadas just for L. By midnight I noticed Chris and I were keeping pace drinking (4 or 5 each). Ooops. I stopped drinking, ate some of the yummy food and started drinking water instead. Thankfully these parties are always late ones so by the time we walked out the door at 10 of 3 (yep - 3 in the morning) I was nothing, but tired, and my feet were killing me from wearing my black high heeled boots (how I love thee even more so, my ugly yet comfortable crocs). I also knew that we could sleep at J&L's if needed or we could have called Jeremy to pick us up in his car.

Sunday I woke up at 8am after getting less than 5 hours of sleep and got my Sunday school lesson together. I drank some diet coke w/lime (they taste very good when you only have them every couple of months) and went to church. They've changed the set up at church and I wasn't sure I'd like it much. Instead of having Sunday school during the time the sermon is going on in the sanctuary, we have it after church. I was afraid church would be over much later, which honestly eats into the one day we have as a family, but was pleasantly surprised. I thanked God for helping me keep an open mind because during the week I was very upset with the whole thing and had stewed about it over and over again. I also was proud of myself for not falling asleep during the sermon. I even held my yawns in until right at the end. Not too shabby. I can even tell you what the sermon was about - even if it was just in general terms. ;)

So Sunday afternoon after I ate some lunch I put on the race and promptly slept the rest of the day. I woke up at the end of the race, made supper (pancakes, bacon & homemade maple & brown sugar oatmeal) and then helped David & Daniel with their homework projects. I then went back to bed, but I didn't sleep until after midnight. I guess maybe my nap was a bit too long?

I'm glad that the weekend was overall pretty nice. I didn't exercise at all on Saturday or Sunday, but I did make it a full 5 days so that is better than nothing. I've found that fitting in at least 30 minutes of exercise each day is much easier than trying to find an hour. Shoot for 30 - anything over that is just a bonus, right?