You've all been waiting with bated breath, haven't you? Hah! ;)
I awoke Saturday to sunshine (which we all know makes everything better) and I decided that I wasn't going to worry about my weight or exercise or food for the rest of the weekend. I was taking the next two days off and I wasn't going to feel guilty about it. Trust me, I didn't feel guilty about ANYTHING and today I jumped on the treadmill with maybe not *enthusiasm*, but without dread either.
We got on the road around 3:30p armed with J's Garmin and the hotel address plugged in. I actually dressed in something other than jeans and a hoodie which you know is my usual garb. Nothing terribly fancy, but it did involve heeled sandals and one of my most favorite dressy shirts. :oP
We got stuck on the Pike in the "cash only" lanes at the last exit. Let's just say that the first thing I did when I got home yesterday was to order a Fast Lane pass. I am hoping that my trips on the Pike are more plentiful this coming summer as I have dear friends in the Boston area that I would very much like to see on a more regular basis! You all know who you are! Natick for lunch anyone? Heck, I'll invite myself to Watertown if I have to....
When we exited out of the tunnel at Government Center/Faneuil Hall, I could see S & J waving to us from the balcony of the hotel we were staying at. How lovely was that?! We pulled into the porte-cochere of the hotel, paid the parking fee and left the keys with the valet. S & J brought us up to our room (which also had a wonderful flowered balcony). I think my chin dragged on the floor at the whole sight of it.
The bathroom was, to me, the most marvelous part. It was a fully tiled walk in shower that was bigger than a regular tub space. It had a rain water type spout along with a handheld spout and both could be on at once. I, of course, being the raucous type of girl I am, commented on it being a good shower for sex. (I don't know why we have 6 children....) The bathroom vanity was a rich dark wood with a bottom shelf that held thick, fluffy white towels and it was all enclosed by an opaque pocket door. Just outside the bathroom there was a vanity area and closet (which held a white, fluffy, thick bathrobe, I might add). The bathroom was luxurious and something I would love to have in my own home for sure. It felt like I was at a spa (but where the heck was the facial and massage, I wonder?)
The rest of the room was ok. The bed was comfy with lots of pillows and the TV was a large flat screen that sat on a armoire which held the way overpriced mini bar. The bathroom and balcony were definitely the highlights for me.
While chatting with S & J, S handed me a homemade card from her daughter, M. It was made with yummy smelly markers and I was in heaven. M is known for her awesome crafting/drawing ability and anyone who thinks I'm a rock star with pink hair is pretty awesome in my book!!!
S also gave me another card which ended up being from one of my besties, J. She had wrote a poem for me that made me cry. There are not any words to describe how much I love her back and one of the best things about Saturday was that she took time out to call me and wish me a happy birthday. She is one of the best...truly. My life is better for knowing her and I told the hubster later on that we definitely needed to plan a trip to Toronto as a family.
S then gave me a box and another card. This was from her and J and in the box was a very pretty silver bracelet with pretty & interesting beads. My SIL and MIL told me yesterday that if I ever got tired of it, they'd love to take it off my hands! :) The best part? S bought herself one too! We matched :)))))) YAY! There was also a hot pink Birthday Girl crown that I wore happily until after dinner when it really started to pinch my head. I have a feeling my girls will be fighting over wearing it on their birthdays as well. ;)
We parted ways w/S & J and the hubster and I changed into our dinner wear. The four of us decided to grab a drink before heading out to dinner. We actually sat at the fake Cheers at Faneuil Hall although it did bring back lots of lovely memories of June '08 and the first meet up of the LFFs. S and I pointed out to our hubbies where J. and I got lost (me lost with hot pink hair - go figure) and took lots of fun pictures with the Cheers cut-outs in the basement. It was apparent that it wasn't as funny to them as it was to us. Good memories of chugging $12 glasses of wine and the Croc store too. It seems like a lifetime ago....
We headed onto Hanover St and met C, B, R & baby S. There were pictures and gifts and laughs and a cute baby (who for the record was UBER good) and more pictures. After dinner there was a short walk and a slight wait for the cannoli. MMMMMMM....well worth the wait at Mike's Pastry. Did I ever mention how much I *LOVE* cannolis? I would probably knock down an old lady for one if it were the last one on earth. Yep. That is how much I love them.
Funny side story - long line at Mike's. Guys get into line and soon disappear into Mike's. J and the hubster finally emerge and the hubster is laughing because apparently J has loudly commented on the way out that he is so glad that they got the last 4 cannolis. Waiting customers - not laughing. Nope. ;)
We said our goodbyes to C, B, R and baby S and headed back to our hotel for a quick pit stop. We visited some bars and had a round or two in each. After closing down Todd English's restaurant bar, we hit the sausage street vendors and there were a few to choose from all within a hundred feet of each other. So there we were, four well dressed adults scarfing down a sausage in a bun topped with lots of peppers & onions. After drinking beer all night, it did seem rather fitting!
The next morning hubby gently woke me a bit after 8 (ahhhh, sleep). I generally do not sleep well in hotel rooms, but I was out like a light! We took our time getting up, showering and then grabbed a coffee at the Dunks next door. We headed into the lobby to wait for S & J and then we went to breakfast in the restaurant attached to the hotel. After that we retrieved our bags, checked out and headed home. The hubster and I toyed with stopping in Wrentham, but both decided we'd just go home. The kids did GREAT! Both the ones who stayed home and the ones who stayed at the ILs.
Around 3p we headed over to the ILs for a family get together with pizza & Dairy Queen ice cream cake. OMGOSH...YUM! Way better than Carvel. I opened my gifts and cards and enjoyed my time with everyone (although I was pretty tired by the end of the night). The stainless steel mandolin and the iPod docking station were the gifts from hubby and the kids and I was pleasantly surprised. I now have a way to listen to my music without the ear buds and it should make cleaning MUCH more fun! I also will be able to make potato au gratin a bit quicker and my potatoes will def. be more uniformly cut! My ILs gave me a hundred bucks to blow on myself (Wrentham anyone?) and my SIL and I are planning a trip to Whole Foods (LOVE that place) and lunch (her treat) so that is also very cool. I was more than thoroughly spoiled with everything by everyone!
While the birthday was everything I had hoped and more, I will say that when reality set in today, it was almost too much to handle. The best thing is that I know we will be doing it again and I'm guessing sooner rather than later. While the hubster is not a city lover, he even had to agree that Boston was "pretty cool". :)))))))
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
I loathe my birthday - there I said it!
I have a love/hate relationship with the month of May. It isn't ever what I envision it to be - what I long for it to be.
Mother's Day is generally pretty nice whether we are home or on Cape like the last couple of years, but my birthday has sucked since my sister moved away. Why? Because my sister is the planner and she would always make sure people celebrated my birthday.
I go overboard on birthdays. I make sure that the person having a birthday feels like the center of the universe for the day. They decide the meal, the cake, are sure to get the gifts they want (within reason) and have a day to do whatever they want with whomever they want to do it with.
I have not had a party or get together since my sister moved away. Most of the years, I've been lucky to have had some unwrapped gifts thrown my way before going out the door for baseball & softball games for the kids. Never cake. Or a meal that was prepared because that is what I like to eat. Honestly, it sucked. I think it hurt even more that every other birthday in hubby's family is celebrated. We all get together for my MIL's, FIL's, SILS', BIL's, kids', etc - everyone's but mine.
The last couple of years I've made it known that this behavior bothers me. That I would love to know that people wanted to come over and celebrate my birthday or that my family wanted to make sure I had at least a cake. Things did get better and hubby really tries to make things right, but he just doesn't "get it". The kids have baked me a cake the last couple of years and hubby always tries to make sure he buys me a great gift, but it isn't about the gift. It's about the time and energy someone puts into it. Hubby is a last minute type of guy - not a planner.
This year I threw caution to the wind and planned my own darn birthday and made sure I surrounded myself with people who make me laugh and that I have fun with. I planned an overnight away from my children in a place that *I* wanted to go, but yet, my tummy is queasy and I'm feeling very nervous over the whole thing. I can't wait to see everyone, yet part of me wonders if it won't be what I expect. I know this is my issue. I own it. I'm trying to work past it.
I also have fallen off the good food and exercise wagon. This is day two of no exercise. The day isn't over by any means, but when I get out of my routine, I just can't seem to put the pieces back together. I also ate a whole lemon blueberry cake by myself in two days. A WHOLE CAKE! I want this to stop. It became obvious to me that eating the cake was a totally emotional thing. I am trying to make my birthday worries go away by sticking food into my mouth. How sad is that? How sad am I? On top of that, a quick glance at the calendar shows that the witchy aunt is due to arrive on Sunday. Oh the joys. Or lack of joy.
Gah. Off to go watch a recorder concert that I don't want to watch especially not with a 2yo in tow. And because I needed to write this stuff down, we'll be late on top of it all. Just need the strength to pull myself up by my bootstraps and stop wallowing in the pity of it all...I know. I know. Thanks for reading, dear friends.
Mother's Day is generally pretty nice whether we are home or on Cape like the last couple of years, but my birthday has sucked since my sister moved away. Why? Because my sister is the planner and she would always make sure people celebrated my birthday.
I go overboard on birthdays. I make sure that the person having a birthday feels like the center of the universe for the day. They decide the meal, the cake, are sure to get the gifts they want (within reason) and have a day to do whatever they want with whomever they want to do it with.
I have not had a party or get together since my sister moved away. Most of the years, I've been lucky to have had some unwrapped gifts thrown my way before going out the door for baseball & softball games for the kids. Never cake. Or a meal that was prepared because that is what I like to eat. Honestly, it sucked. I think it hurt even more that every other birthday in hubby's family is celebrated. We all get together for my MIL's, FIL's, SILS', BIL's, kids', etc - everyone's but mine.
The last couple of years I've made it known that this behavior bothers me. That I would love to know that people wanted to come over and celebrate my birthday or that my family wanted to make sure I had at least a cake. Things did get better and hubby really tries to make things right, but he just doesn't "get it". The kids have baked me a cake the last couple of years and hubby always tries to make sure he buys me a great gift, but it isn't about the gift. It's about the time and energy someone puts into it. Hubby is a last minute type of guy - not a planner.
This year I threw caution to the wind and planned my own darn birthday and made sure I surrounded myself with people who make me laugh and that I have fun with. I planned an overnight away from my children in a place that *I* wanted to go, but yet, my tummy is queasy and I'm feeling very nervous over the whole thing. I can't wait to see everyone, yet part of me wonders if it won't be what I expect. I know this is my issue. I own it. I'm trying to work past it.
I also have fallen off the good food and exercise wagon. This is day two of no exercise. The day isn't over by any means, but when I get out of my routine, I just can't seem to put the pieces back together. I also ate a whole lemon blueberry cake by myself in two days. A WHOLE CAKE! I want this to stop. It became obvious to me that eating the cake was a totally emotional thing. I am trying to make my birthday worries go away by sticking food into my mouth. How sad is that? How sad am I? On top of that, a quick glance at the calendar shows that the witchy aunt is due to arrive on Sunday. Oh the joys. Or lack of joy.
Gah. Off to go watch a recorder concert that I don't want to watch especially not with a 2yo in tow. And because I needed to write this stuff down, we'll be late on top of it all. Just need the strength to pull myself up by my bootstraps and stop wallowing in the pity of it all...I know. I know. Thanks for reading, dear friends.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Weekend fun - past & future
Not much going on here...or rather too much going on here? I never know which. The days all seem to blur together this time of year.
Mother's Day weekend was really nice. We were at the Cape staying with the hubster's brother in Chatham. My SILs, B & I enjoyed a nice visit to P-Town on Saturday. We browsed the shops and had a late lunch. Ended up buying my niece a birthday gift (she turned 19 that day) and bought myself some half price Merrells. I also bought the hubster a new wallet while I was there. Made my purchase of shoes feel better. :) There was lots of laughter and fun and great people watching!
Sunday we did some last minute shopping at the greenhouse in Harwich and then my SIL and I hit downtown Chatham so I could pick up a thank you gift for our German neighbors who had nicely offered to take care of the dogs for the weekend. The guys bought & made dinner for the girls and then cleaned up. It was a good day. My kiddos ended up getting me some iTunes cards which was a nice treat. The littlest boys also brought me home potted flowers in hand decorated pots on Friday along with cards and other little notes & treats they made me at school. I know when they are all grown up, I will miss those the most.
This time of year is busy for all of us. The hubster has been working crazy hours, we're in the last stretch of dance (recital is in 3 weeks) and we have J's first prom coming up. I also am looking forward to my first 39th birthday this weekend. The hubster and I are going away over night and leaving the kiddos. The two drama queens (T & Em) will be at the ILs and the other 4 will be home. I know J & B will be fine with the two littlest boys and now that J has his license, we have a bit more freedom. Our neighbors will also be home keeping an eye out for us. I'm really looking forward to staying in a nice hotel and not sharing my bed with anyone but my hubby! I am also looking forward to eating good food that I didn't have to make. Simple pleasures....
Exercise front - not so good. I've been moving every day, but my shins are getting progressively worse. I'm not sure if I need better sneakers or if I've actually hurt myself. Yesterday I barely made it through 30 minutes of my usual workout. Once I took all incline off and slowed my speed way down it wasn't so bad. Today I've decided not to push myself so hard on the treadmill. Maybe keep the incline at 5 and the speed around 3mph. Some movement is better than none, right? I also will do my ab & arm work. Almost time to measure myself again. I hope I see some change. Seriously. If I don't, I may make an appointment with my doctor to discuss what I can do differently. I also have a feeling I have undiagnosed asthma, but that is another story all together. Oh well...slow and steady wins the race - that's my story & I'm sticking to it!
Mother's Day weekend was really nice. We were at the Cape staying with the hubster's brother in Chatham. My SILs, B & I enjoyed a nice visit to P-Town on Saturday. We browsed the shops and had a late lunch. Ended up buying my niece a birthday gift (she turned 19 that day) and bought myself some half price Merrells. I also bought the hubster a new wallet while I was there. Made my purchase of shoes feel better. :) There was lots of laughter and fun and great people watching!
Sunday we did some last minute shopping at the greenhouse in Harwich and then my SIL and I hit downtown Chatham so I could pick up a thank you gift for our German neighbors who had nicely offered to take care of the dogs for the weekend. The guys bought & made dinner for the girls and then cleaned up. It was a good day. My kiddos ended up getting me some iTunes cards which was a nice treat. The littlest boys also brought me home potted flowers in hand decorated pots on Friday along with cards and other little notes & treats they made me at school. I know when they are all grown up, I will miss those the most.
This time of year is busy for all of us. The hubster has been working crazy hours, we're in the last stretch of dance (recital is in 3 weeks) and we have J's first prom coming up. I also am looking forward to my first 39th birthday this weekend. The hubster and I are going away over night and leaving the kiddos. The two drama queens (T & Em) will be at the ILs and the other 4 will be home. I know J & B will be fine with the two littlest boys and now that J has his license, we have a bit more freedom. Our neighbors will also be home keeping an eye out for us. I'm really looking forward to staying in a nice hotel and not sharing my bed with anyone but my hubby! I am also looking forward to eating good food that I didn't have to make. Simple pleasures....
Exercise front - not so good. I've been moving every day, but my shins are getting progressively worse. I'm not sure if I need better sneakers or if I've actually hurt myself. Yesterday I barely made it through 30 minutes of my usual workout. Once I took all incline off and slowed my speed way down it wasn't so bad. Today I've decided not to push myself so hard on the treadmill. Maybe keep the incline at 5 and the speed around 3mph. Some movement is better than none, right? I also will do my ab & arm work. Almost time to measure myself again. I hope I see some change. Seriously. If I don't, I may make an appointment with my doctor to discuss what I can do differently. I also have a feeling I have undiagnosed asthma, but that is another story all together. Oh well...slow and steady wins the race - that's my story & I'm sticking to it!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Happy Sather Falkerhood
ROFLMAO
For those who are not familiar with the Cake Wrecks blog, please take a moment to check out the following link and be sure to watch the video. This site makes me laugh until I cry. If you have extra time, I suggest reading through the most popular entries on the site. They are listed on the right hand side and are guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and maybe even pee your pants. Seriously - you can't make this stuff up which is what makes it so funny!
Cake Wrecks - Happy Sather Falkerhood
For those who are not familiar with the Cake Wrecks blog, please take a moment to check out the following link and be sure to watch the video. This site makes me laugh until I cry. If you have extra time, I suggest reading through the most popular entries on the site. They are listed on the right hand side and are guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and maybe even pee your pants. Seriously - you can't make this stuff up which is what makes it so funny!
Cake Wrecks - Happy Sather Falkerhood
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Saturday - Glorious Saturday
I did not have to bring J to the park so he could coach t-ball today. No, I did not! My big boy got his license and brought himself in his own car, thankyouverymuch. I did however have to say good bye to the hubster who is working all day. And also told me that he likely has to work tomorrow too. Gah. He has been SOOO busy lately and I'm not complaining really since work is a good thing and will pay our many, many bills, but I still miss having him around.
Last night I picked up a good friend and hit a flip flop party at my SILs house. (www.toegoz.com) It wasn't like a typical "in home" party for the fact that there wasn't any sales pitch. The product was out, she had catalogs and you could try on what was there and buy or not. It was rather nice, actually. I ended up buying two pairs, but only for the fact that my feet are small enough to buy the youth sizes (which were $11 cheaper than the adult sizes). Unfortunately the youth sizes didn't have the best selection, but they did have one style that I really, REALLY liked and the adult sizes didn't offer it. Here are the ones I chose:
http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2312&category=tweens
http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2309&category=tweens
Tonight we have plans to head to another one of hubby's high school friends' get togethers. These are so much fun and I look forward to them almost more than hubby does! I have really hit it off with so many of the women that graduated with him and count them among some of my best friends. I'm torn on whether I will want wine, beer or if I want to pick up some tequila and have margaritas. I had a nice Shiraz last night so maybe I'll drink Corona tonight. Before the day gets much later I will also need to make some empanadas. They have become my "signature dish" among these get togethers and I would hate to disappoint my loyal eaters of said cookies.
Tomorrow is church (unless of course hubby needs to work in the morning) and I've been told that the congregation voted and we will be going back to having sunday school during the sermon instead of after church is over. I'm relieved. I may even stay beyond this summer. Again, change is so often tortuous for me. And the thing is that when I am put on the spot about change without having some time to mull things over, I more often than not do not speak my displeasure. I need to work on that. Either I need to learn to digest things faster in my brain or I need to start telling people that I will have to think it over. I'm guessing the latter is likely the right choice.
On the exercise front, I've been averaging about 15 miles per week on the treadmill and am still doing pilates and stretching after. I haven't lost more than a couple of pounds, but I keep going. J did show me a P90X exercise for my abs yesterday that is so simple yet burns the hell out of my abs. I am supposed to get up to a count of 25. I barely got to 8 or 9 today. I love to change the pilates/ab stuff up so I was thankful for that. Someday I hope to be able to start P90X and follow the program, but for now I am proud of myself for making exercise part of my daily routine...especially those days that I want nothing more than to skip it. Baby steps & every day is a new day have become my motto. I may even start leaving myself love notes around the house telling myself that I am worth it! hahaha I also got a great email from a friend the other day telling me about a great new diet plan. It's the Dawn Keye diet...it shoes a picture of a donkey in the 'fridge with a caption that reads: "Dawn Keye Diet - Keep your ass out of the 'fridge!" Uh, yeah....I need to remember that one!
And on that note I bid you all adieu for another few days. I'm off to make my cookies, shower and enjoy the sunshine and beautiful weather (all while using proper sunscreen...this peeling stuff sucks!)
Last night I picked up a good friend and hit a flip flop party at my SILs house. (www.toegoz.com) It wasn't like a typical "in home" party for the fact that there wasn't any sales pitch. The product was out, she had catalogs and you could try on what was there and buy or not. It was rather nice, actually. I ended up buying two pairs, but only for the fact that my feet are small enough to buy the youth sizes (which were $11 cheaper than the adult sizes). Unfortunately the youth sizes didn't have the best selection, but they did have one style that I really, REALLY liked and the adult sizes didn't offer it. Here are the ones I chose:
http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2312&category=tweens
http://www.toegoz.com/popup.aspx?productId=2309&category=tweens
Tonight we have plans to head to another one of hubby's high school friends' get togethers. These are so much fun and I look forward to them almost more than hubby does! I have really hit it off with so many of the women that graduated with him and count them among some of my best friends. I'm torn on whether I will want wine, beer or if I want to pick up some tequila and have margaritas. I had a nice Shiraz last night so maybe I'll drink Corona tonight. Before the day gets much later I will also need to make some empanadas. They have become my "signature dish" among these get togethers and I would hate to disappoint my loyal eaters of said cookies.
Tomorrow is church (unless of course hubby needs to work in the morning) and I've been told that the congregation voted and we will be going back to having sunday school during the sermon instead of after church is over. I'm relieved. I may even stay beyond this summer. Again, change is so often tortuous for me. And the thing is that when I am put on the spot about change without having some time to mull things over, I more often than not do not speak my displeasure. I need to work on that. Either I need to learn to digest things faster in my brain or I need to start telling people that I will have to think it over. I'm guessing the latter is likely the right choice.
On the exercise front, I've been averaging about 15 miles per week on the treadmill and am still doing pilates and stretching after. I haven't lost more than a couple of pounds, but I keep going. J did show me a P90X exercise for my abs yesterday that is so simple yet burns the hell out of my abs. I am supposed to get up to a count of 25. I barely got to 8 or 9 today. I love to change the pilates/ab stuff up so I was thankful for that. Someday I hope to be able to start P90X and follow the program, but for now I am proud of myself for making exercise part of my daily routine...especially those days that I want nothing more than to skip it. Baby steps & every day is a new day have become my motto. I may even start leaving myself love notes around the house telling myself that I am worth it! hahaha I also got a great email from a friend the other day telling me about a great new diet plan. It's the Dawn Keye diet...it shoes a picture of a donkey in the 'fridge with a caption that reads: "Dawn Keye Diet - Keep your ass out of the 'fridge!" Uh, yeah....I need to remember that one!
And on that note I bid you all adieu for another few days. I'm off to make my cookies, shower and enjoy the sunshine and beautiful weather (all while using proper sunscreen...this peeling stuff sucks!)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Siblings, Parents and a couple of "Why?"'s
How do you stop your heart from breaking over your children?
This week has been different in our house. Our 17yo homebody has been gone since last Thursday. He's on a trip with his girlfriend and her family and due home sometime tonight. Throughout the week I've wondered how & what he doing. We've kept in touch via text and when I learned of the wild fires burning in his general vicinity, I called him to make sure he was safe.
It is funny how well I could read his texts and know whether he was homesick or having a good time. What I find even better is the fact that he misses - really misses - his siblings. Most of the time they drive him bonkers. He gets mostly irritated by T and this morning when I told him I was making cupcakes for T's birthday party at an indoor play place, my big boy told me to tell his brother that he hoped he had a good time tonight. WHAT?! Did I just read that text right?
It's magical and wonderful to realize that these children who can fight like cats and dogs also have the capacity to love each other and take care of each other. The few glimpses I get of the love make the fighting tolerable for the most part. I know underneath the sibling irritations are strong feelings of tenderness and love for each other. That is one of the things that makes parenting awesome.
I also have been counseling, via text, my son's issues with his girlfriend. While I like her and think she is a very nice girl, it is becoming obvious to me (and actually to hubby too) that she isn't very sensitive. There are things she does that are hurtful and while I don't think she sees them as such, she tends to get angry when called on them instead of being empathetic. We have stayed out of any squabbles (except I have told them both that the other can't read minds...a very important life lesson when it comes to serious relationships). It breaks my heart to see my son's heart hurting over someone he very obviously cares for. This part of parenting is so very difficult for me because I am a fixer. I want to fix it so that no one hurts or gets a broken heart and yet, I can't. And I know I shouldn't even if I could.
I wonder if my past makes me a bit naive when it comes to relationships as well. Honestly, I knew hubby was my other half about 3 months into our dating relationship. He knew it too. We were meant to be together, but knowing that at 16yo is not the norm I don't think. The fact that I was with my hubby when I was younger than my son blows my mind. By the time I was my son's age, I was engaged and had a diamond ring on my finger. Crazy to think about it that way. So when I counsel my son (or any of my other kiddos) on relationships, what do I have to go on besides my own? I tell them that I just *knew* that their Dad was the one. There is no other way to explain it. I did just *know*. I felt like God had whispered it into my ear and heart....while I'm not sure I believe in predestination on a whole, I think I was predestined to be with hubby. How will that help them though? I don't know that all relationships are like that. I also don't know if maybe you have to be ready for it to understand it.
So yeah, my son is on his way home in an extra cab pick up filled with 5 people and two dogs with a girlfriend who is angry with him for calling her out on something that is hurtful and I'm here and cannot do a dang thing about it except be available for texting.
So how do you stop your own heart from breaking over what your children are experiencing anyway?
This week has been different in our house. Our 17yo homebody has been gone since last Thursday. He's on a trip with his girlfriend and her family and due home sometime tonight. Throughout the week I've wondered how & what he doing. We've kept in touch via text and when I learned of the wild fires burning in his general vicinity, I called him to make sure he was safe.
It is funny how well I could read his texts and know whether he was homesick or having a good time. What I find even better is the fact that he misses - really misses - his siblings. Most of the time they drive him bonkers. He gets mostly irritated by T and this morning when I told him I was making cupcakes for T's birthday party at an indoor play place, my big boy told me to tell his brother that he hoped he had a good time tonight. WHAT?! Did I just read that text right?
It's magical and wonderful to realize that these children who can fight like cats and dogs also have the capacity to love each other and take care of each other. The few glimpses I get of the love make the fighting tolerable for the most part. I know underneath the sibling irritations are strong feelings of tenderness and love for each other. That is one of the things that makes parenting awesome.
I also have been counseling, via text, my son's issues with his girlfriend. While I like her and think she is a very nice girl, it is becoming obvious to me (and actually to hubby too) that she isn't very sensitive. There are things she does that are hurtful and while I don't think she sees them as such, she tends to get angry when called on them instead of being empathetic. We have stayed out of any squabbles (except I have told them both that the other can't read minds...a very important life lesson when it comes to serious relationships). It breaks my heart to see my son's heart hurting over someone he very obviously cares for. This part of parenting is so very difficult for me because I am a fixer. I want to fix it so that no one hurts or gets a broken heart and yet, I can't. And I know I shouldn't even if I could.
I wonder if my past makes me a bit naive when it comes to relationships as well. Honestly, I knew hubby was my other half about 3 months into our dating relationship. He knew it too. We were meant to be together, but knowing that at 16yo is not the norm I don't think. The fact that I was with my hubby when I was younger than my son blows my mind. By the time I was my son's age, I was engaged and had a diamond ring on my finger. Crazy to think about it that way. So when I counsel my son (or any of my other kiddos) on relationships, what do I have to go on besides my own? I tell them that I just *knew* that their Dad was the one. There is no other way to explain it. I did just *know*. I felt like God had whispered it into my ear and heart....while I'm not sure I believe in predestination on a whole, I think I was predestined to be with hubby. How will that help them though? I don't know that all relationships are like that. I also don't know if maybe you have to be ready for it to understand it.
So yeah, my son is on his way home in an extra cab pick up filled with 5 people and two dogs with a girlfriend who is angry with him for calling her out on something that is hurtful and I'm here and cannot do a dang thing about it except be available for texting.
So how do you stop your own heart from breaking over what your children are experiencing anyway?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Friends
I know I've blogged more than once about the lack of female friends I've had in my life and how lucky I feel & blessed I am after two meet ups with the best of the best. I was reminded of this yesterday when I hosted a lunch for two of the women from that amazing group.
The majority of my life seems to have been spent with little people without much adult contact. In fact, I will even venture that most of that is my own doing because I'm just not an extrovert. Don't get me wrong, I can be as obnoxious as the next person when in a group of people I know well although I do try to curb that back as well. I just don't put myself into situations that would allow me any discomfort and therefore do not go to library story hour, community playgroups or any type of Moms' clubs. It stems back from when my parents were divorced. I remember feeling different for the first time while at the bus stop with some older girls in the neighborhood. It wasn't that they were mean to me, but I clearly felt out of place. Being a tomboy AND living with just my Dad *did* make me different. After this I stopped thinking that girls would like me or want to be my friend. That's not to say I never had girlfriends because I did. I just never had a slew of them. I was always more comfortable with boys. In fact, from age 12-13 (and well after) I had two boys who were my BEST friends. They always proved to be my friends even when my girlfriends had outcast me from "the group".
So yesterday's visit left me emotional, but in a good way. When the house became quiet I realized how much I already missed my girlfriends and their children. How much I missed just sitting around and gabbing. How I missed the kids all running around, playing and well, acting like children. It was a day near perfection for me. I had two women here whom I love with all my heart and soul. They are my sistahs. I was comfortable and happy and well, content. With girlfriends. Can you imagine? This is one instance where I cannot seem to convey the wonderful feelings I have into words.
As I age it becomes more clear what really is important in life. It isn't what I have, but those who I surround myself with. (Ah, good thing my friend John doesn't read my blog - I'd blow my "Materialistic Biotch" cover!) I have chosen to surround myself with those women who lift me up. Who always want what is best for me (and I for them, of course). It is truly amazing what life has become with them around. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined how wonderful it would be so thank you. Thank you to the two awesome women who traveled to my home yesterday and thank you to the bigger group who love me even when I find it hard to love myself. Thank you for your encouraging words, your prayers/good thoughts and most importantly your love & friendship. You've added something to my life that I never have experienced and boy is it good. <3
The majority of my life seems to have been spent with little people without much adult contact. In fact, I will even venture that most of that is my own doing because I'm just not an extrovert. Don't get me wrong, I can be as obnoxious as the next person when in a group of people I know well although I do try to curb that back as well. I just don't put myself into situations that would allow me any discomfort and therefore do not go to library story hour, community playgroups or any type of Moms' clubs. It stems back from when my parents were divorced. I remember feeling different for the first time while at the bus stop with some older girls in the neighborhood. It wasn't that they were mean to me, but I clearly felt out of place. Being a tomboy AND living with just my Dad *did* make me different. After this I stopped thinking that girls would like me or want to be my friend. That's not to say I never had girlfriends because I did. I just never had a slew of them. I was always more comfortable with boys. In fact, from age 12-13 (and well after) I had two boys who were my BEST friends. They always proved to be my friends even when my girlfriends had outcast me from "the group".
So yesterday's visit left me emotional, but in a good way. When the house became quiet I realized how much I already missed my girlfriends and their children. How much I missed just sitting around and gabbing. How I missed the kids all running around, playing and well, acting like children. It was a day near perfection for me. I had two women here whom I love with all my heart and soul. They are my sistahs. I was comfortable and happy and well, content. With girlfriends. Can you imagine? This is one instance where I cannot seem to convey the wonderful feelings I have into words.
As I age it becomes more clear what really is important in life. It isn't what I have, but those who I surround myself with. (Ah, good thing my friend John doesn't read my blog - I'd blow my "Materialistic Biotch" cover!) I have chosen to surround myself with those women who lift me up. Who always want what is best for me (and I for them, of course). It is truly amazing what life has become with them around. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined how wonderful it would be so thank you. Thank you to the two awesome women who traveled to my home yesterday and thank you to the bigger group who love me even when I find it hard to love myself. Thank you for your encouraging words, your prayers/good thoughts and most importantly your love & friendship. You've added something to my life that I never have experienced and boy is it good. <3
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